Chapter One

"It couldn't possibly have been that bad."

"Oh, but it was. I saw his you-know-what within an hour of knowing him, totally against my will."

"He flashed you?"

"Not exactly. We stopped by my apartment after dinner before we went to the club because we'd gone for Italian, and I had garlic breath, and I wanted to brush my teeth before we went dancing, even though I knew within four seconds of meeting him that it could never go anywhere. I don't know what Sylvia was thinking setting us up. But to be polite I had to go through the charade of the date anyway, even though I wasn't remotely attracted to him. So I started brushing my teeth, but I wanted to check on him and make sure he was okay, so I came out from the bathroom into the living room, and he was just sitting there on the couch, naked."

"No!"

"Yes. Naked and, ah ... You know, aroused." I'm stuck in traffic, story of my life, talking on my cell phone, which is paid for by the company I work for, making it one of the very, very few perks of being employed by Pinnacle Media. "I mean I know it's been a while since I've dated anyone, but isn't the whole point of dating and sex to kind of, I don't know, enjoy this stuff together? Like getting turned on by the other person's touch, and not by the sound of someone brushing her teeth in the bathroom?"

"So what did you do?"

"Well, I looked at him like the maniac he was, and he realized that I was appalled and said that he'd assumed that when I said I was going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, what I really meant was that I w